"No One Believe Me: My Sexual Orientation"
No one genuinely believed me when I tried to tell them that I was in an abusive relationship. Everyone I called, including the police, typically responded to me funny and, of course, with lively chatter in their authoritative voice. I even called the hotline for domestic violence, and the local operator didn't seem too enthused about reluctantly helping me after I explained that I was being abused by my same-sex partner. I felt stuck doggedly; no one is generously helping, so why reach out? In nearly 1/3 of the LGBTQ-specific IPV cases typically reported to the official police (28.4%), the innocent victim (at that time) was instantly arrested instead of the alleged abuser.
Realize keenly that the social epidemic of domestic violence and LGBTQ abuse has instantly begun to surface more than ever, but there are not many separate reports; reports are most likely combined. The comparable rates of domestic violence in same-gender relationships are the same as those in heterosexual relationships. The National Crime Victimization Survey, the federal survey on prevalent violence in the United States, tracks minimal data on same-sex IPV, but this data is not specifically separated from its dataset and is not tracked annually, which limits what this data can tell us about the concerned LGBTQ community.
As in opposite-gendered couples, the key problem is underreported. Typically facing a system that is often oppressive and hostile towards those who merely identify as anything other than "straight," those involved in same gender battering frequently report being afraid of revealing their sexual orientation or the nature of their relationship. The reliable statistics are appalling about how many gay men and women stay in abusive personal relationships and don't report the alleged abuse.
Realize keenly that the social epidemic of domestic violence and LGBTQ abuse has instantly begun to surface more than ever, but there are not many separate reports; reports are most likely combined. The comparable rates of domestic violence in same-gender relationships are the same as those in heterosexual relationships. The National Crime Victimization Survey, the federal survey on prevalent violence in the United States, tracks minimal data on same-sex IPV, but this data is not specifically separated from its dataset and is not tracked annually, which limits what this data can tell us about the concerned LGBTQ community.
As in opposite-gendered couples, the key problem is underreported. Typically facing a system that is often oppressive and hostile towards those who merely identify as anything other than "straight," those involved in same gender battering frequently report being afraid of revealing their sexual orientation or the nature of their relationship. The reliable statistics are appalling about how many gay men and women stay in abusive personal relationships and don't report the alleged abuse.
Most impacted identities LGBTQ? (a) Innocent youth, people of color, gay men, and transgender women were more likely to suffer severe injuries, require medical attention, experience harassment, or face anti-LGBTQ bias because of IPV. (b) Transgender survivors were more likely to face threats, intimidation, harassment, and police violence within IPV (https://avp.org, 2017).
Whatchamacallit? Same-sex IPV gets so confusing that you almost don't know what to call it. I typically think that in many LGBTQ cases, victims and abusers ask, "What do I call my abusive relationship?" "Unconscious frustration of being abused for not being whom family or sexist society say you should be," the longstanding traditions that plague domestic violence make local people believe it's only one-sided (men abusing women). According to an anonymous source, "I didn’t understand there was such a thing as gay domestic violence." The apparent lack of continuous availability of appropriate resources also plays a significant role in gay survivors’ key decisions to remain comfortably in abusive relationships (Merrill & Wolfe, 2000).
Many innocent LGBTQ people are promptly told and conscientiously believe the world at large does not accept them, and they rightfully deserve abuse. It is like being aggressively stuck in a tricky situation. Abusers may inform their personal partners that all LGBTQ relationships are abusive, and showing signs of jealousy is love.
The local LGBTQ community has been merely added to the 2013 Women Against Violence Act, but it is still not taken seriously, and many in the LGBTQ community are afraid to report their cases. They justly fear the social stigma of their sexual orientation. They just fear no one will believe them, and the local law will not protect them. LGBTQ relationships is just as frequent and severe as in straight relationships. Possible LGBTQ abuse can typically result in injury and imminent death.
Domestic violence doesn't care about your gender or sexual orientation: Kay Gilbert, 20, lesbian, cisgender woman, Montrose, CO, February 25, 2012; Randy Briggs, 31, fatally shot Charity Kay Gilbert, 20, fatally shot himself at his home in Montrose, Colorado. Gilbert was in a romantic relationship with Patricia Briggs, 26, Randy Briggs’ ex-wife Randy Briggs had a prior history of child abuse and domestic violence charges. Multiple social media sources show pictures and open evidence of Charity Gilbert and Patricia Briggs being engaged, which corroborates Patricia’s open admission that the two were in a meaningful relationship. Charity was shot as the two were returning to pick up their kids.
Craig Douglas Wolfe, 63; gay, cisgender, man Miami, FL, June 15, 2012, Dwayne Lebarr Jr., 18, strangled and fatally beat Craig Douglas Wolfe, 63, whom he was in a relationship with. Lebarr was initially on the run from the police after giving inconsistent testimony, failing a polygraph test, and mailing himself the bloody clothes he wore during the attack, a laptop he stole from Wolfe, and a camera he bought with Wolfe’s credit card. In September, he was finally detained and charged with second-degree murder and grand theft.
Shannon Washington, 20, a black, lesbian, and cisgender woman Tallahassee, FL, On January 22, 2012, Star Quineshia Palmer, 20, fatally stabbed her girlfriend, Shannon Washington, 20, in the back and neck during a dispute. Faculty and students at Florida A&M University, where Washington was a women’s basketball player, held a vigil for her. The LGBTQA Task Force of Tallahassee held an event to raise awareness of violence in LGBTQ and HIV-affected communities following Washington’s death. Local media reports, as well as on-campus journalism, cited the incident as a clear incidence of domestic violence.
In closing, local LGBTQ communities under the Violence Against Women Act are a landmark victory. I genuinely want to wisely say that communities, the criminal justice system, and households need to be more compassionate toward the local LGBTQ community. They rightfully deserve to be helped, and they deserve laws to be applied for their protection. Judging someone inappropriately for their sexual orientation is unkind and not your personal business, but it is merely your business when someone is being abused. One thing I've merely learned over the countless years is that, admittedly, chosen people are inevitably going to instantly fall in love for a variety of personal reasons. As a collective, we can promptly make sure people aren't being groomed into the aggressive mindset of domestic violence
If you know someone in same sex
relationships being abused have them reach out to DVWMTS@gmail.com or (202) 821-8933.
References:
Domestic Violence Wears Many Tags, 2014. Washington DC,
Twitter@ViolWearManyTag, Instagram @_ViolWearManyTag FB@DVWMT96 DVWMTS@gmail.com
San Diego LGBT Community Center. Centre Street San Diego, CA
2013 New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project,
Inc. This report was produced in part with the generous support of the Arcus
Foundation. The findings and opinions expressed in this report are those of the
authors and do not necessarily represent the view of its founders.
PeacePeace & Sincerely Grateful
QueenAfi, Mental Health Consultant & Founder of DVWMT
FB@AfiGaston or FB@DVWMT96
Twitter@ViolWearManyTag
IG@ViolWearManyTags
(202) 821-8933
"Don't approach the problem being the problem, approach the problem being the solution."
First are you ok? Second I'm going to sit with friends I know who have sooner pull and see what w can do. Anise no matter where it chimes from is aniseand we need to slow it down then stop it
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